Its not me who is looking for emo, it's emo looking for me. I tried my best not to being emo nor having mood swing, but i just can't help. I started throwing attitude and tantrum at my friends, which i seriously think that they don't deserved it. But i just can't control. I'm sorry.
Life is never fair, this might be the best phrase. Maybe because of all the things i go through in my years of life, i truly believe that life is never fair. Recently alot of things happened to me, causing me to think alot. This thinking process piled up all the unhappy things, it came back to me all at one shot.
I am very strong, i can take almost everything just like a breeze. At least thats what i thought. However, recently i discovered that i may not be as strong as what i think i am. Especially when it came to relationship, im as fragile as a jelly, as brittle as a piece of glass. How i wish i can find someone who understands me, and be there for me no matter what happened. My best friend had found himself one, i can't do anything then wishing him, be really happy for him and I seriously envy him.
My time will come, thats what my friend told me but despite of waiting many years nothing had came. Maybe it had came, but they dont stay. They just leave me when i needed them the most, causing me more hurt than what they could ever imagine. Time may heal the wound but whenever it rain, the scar still hurts. I might have forgotten, but once i think about it, it still hurts nevertheless. Because you will never forget about it totally. Its easy to forgive, but it takes years to forget or you will never forget.
No doubt i am down in terms of emotional currently, but i seriously believe that i will come back stronger and tougher. Just like a crab or snake, they changed their skin or shell, they grow and became bigger, stronger. I just had to learn to let go and not taking things so hard. I WILL BE BACK.
